The Bugle Sisters
Ok, here is the real difference between the third generation of the Bugle Sisters...While Mrsjules and Chase are wasting their hard earned money on items such as exercise machines which according to them is ONLY adding to their lists of, "What should I feel guilty about today?" (Like being born a female doesn't automatically come with enough issues to last a lifetime) I "Just Call me Loretta" found another way to spend a ridiculous amount of money on something that is also causes me much guilt and is NOT making my ass any smaller either.
A mink coat.
There, I have come out of the closet, put the eggs down, we all have our faults, and may this be my only one that I discover this week.
Much to my disappointment, I had to face the truth about myself, as I pulled out my American Express to pay for it, that I could never be a true lesbian. With this purchase I would forever be straight and probably hated by a large majority of the population. It would further lessen my chances of ever having dinner with Alec Baldwin.
It cost somewhere between the shitty machine that Mrs. Jules bought and the OMG some folks don’t pay that for a car that Chase spent.
I am at times amazed at myself that I actually purchased it, not-so-much because I am a true animal lover, but I am a clearance rack shopper who would never think of spending more than 17.99 for a pair of jeans. You can only imagine how it sets my hair on fire when my thirteen year old begs for a pair from Abercrombie & Finch which costs 70.00. These come with the added bonus of every time she sits down the entire 8th grade class has a clear view of her butt crack. WTF!
Sorry…I was having a “Mother Moment”.
Anyway, so toss those eggs, my mink makes me feel elegant. After giving birth to a set of twins and looking at the battle scars it left behind, even after the tummy tuck, wearing the mink is what it takes. Or could it be I am really a fag in drag!
Ya Think!
I did wear it to Traders Joes one night, with nothing else but a pair of pumps and a string of pearls, to buy a bottle of wine on my way to Mike’s house one night back when we were dating.
Now just what does that make me???
Bye.
A mink coat.
There, I have come out of the closet, put the eggs down, we all have our faults, and may this be my only one that I discover this week.
Much to my disappointment, I had to face the truth about myself, as I pulled out my American Express to pay for it, that I could never be a true lesbian. With this purchase I would forever be straight and probably hated by a large majority of the population. It would further lessen my chances of ever having dinner with Alec Baldwin.
It cost somewhere between the shitty machine that Mrs. Jules bought and the OMG some folks don’t pay that for a car that Chase spent.
I am at times amazed at myself that I actually purchased it, not-so-much because I am a true animal lover, but I am a clearance rack shopper who would never think of spending more than 17.99 for a pair of jeans. You can only imagine how it sets my hair on fire when my thirteen year old begs for a pair from Abercrombie & Finch which costs 70.00. These come with the added bonus of every time she sits down the entire 8th grade class has a clear view of her butt crack. WTF!
Sorry…I was having a “Mother Moment”.
Anyway, so toss those eggs, my mink makes me feel elegant. After giving birth to a set of twins and looking at the battle scars it left behind, even after the tummy tuck, wearing the mink is what it takes. Or could it be I am really a fag in drag!
Ya Think!
I did wear it to Traders Joes one night, with nothing else but a pair of pumps and a string of pearls, to buy a bottle of wine on my way to Mike’s house one night back when we were dating.
Now just what does that make me???
Bye.
posted by You May Call Me... Loretta at 7:02 AM
0 Comments:
Post a Comment
<< Home